she is..

I had the most wonderful weekend. I got to have a mommy vacation. Five days of not cooking for anyone, not cleaning for anyone, not refereeing any fights, not wrestling with snowsuits. No, mid-night wake-ups, no bathroom interruptions and no laundry. 

ahhh

I got to visit, and sleep in and drive myself in peace and quiet. I only had myself to get from one place to another and it was bliss. Like a warm bath after a long hard day. 

At the end of my time off, I was invited to participate in a most Holy gathering. It was an amazing way to end my weekend. It was an honour to be a part of it and I will carry it with me and remember it specifically every christmas as I hang my memento on my tree. 

It was a gathering of women. Women that have been a part of my life for many years, women that I have only known for a few years. But all of them are women that have spoken into my life and are a part of who I am. In some ways because of how they have touched me, or my boys, or my husband. These are women I have cried in front of and for, I have prayed with these women, cheered them on and been cheered on. With these women I have served the church and have cared for them and been cared for by them. Some of my deepest wounds and highest joys have been laid before these women, and I carry them all with me because we are all part of the family of God. They are my “sisters”

I was catching up with one of them and she shared how she felt that she has no friends. “well, I have X and I have Y” she reminded herself. But it spoke to me of a deeper woe. A clinging fear. A gross lie we tell ourselves. I heard these words and I looked around the room at all these beautiful strong women leaders and was surprised to hear one of them feels they have no friends. A room full of sister friends and they feel they have none. How does this happen? When did we start listening to the myth of scarcity? I started to wonder how many of us share this feeling. I know I have felt that way more than once. And as the day progressed I found myself asking God how this can be fixed. And it is sticking with me. I haven’t been able to shake it. Is this a false god we create to avoid vulnerability? Or, is this us listening to the gremlins that tell us we don’t have because what we do have isn’t like what others have. Or maybe it is because we are just so busy with our living lives that we haven’t the time to invest into our relationships. And when there is no investment, there is no return. 

But, I have found there is always a reserve.

And it is a reserve that has been provided for you.

God created us for community. To commune. Not just with him but with his creation. We are all a part of him. We are created in his image we are imago dei - image bearers. I believe we get caught up in the hologram of of what is marketed to us. What we are inundated with on tv, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and all the other social media apps designed to bring us closer but are in most cases pulling us farther apart from genuine relationship. We think we need the daily coffee dates, or girls nights with a glass of wine in one hand and Amy Schumer’s latest joke in the other. We have been caught up in thinking if we don’t have that all the time we are on the losing end. That what we have isn’t good enough. Can we help each other trash the idea of “not enough”? Because when you tell yourself you don’t have enough, you are also telling yourself you are not enough and you are telling God that He is not enough and you are telling the others in your life that they are not enough. And let me tell you..

You are enough.

By the grace of God, you are enough.

You are strong

you are holy

you are smart

you are brave

you are valuable

you are funny

you are an overcomer

you are victorious

you are talented

you have a deep well of love surrounding you

you are not a fail

you bear HIS image

you are sanctified

you are more than the outside

you have an impact

you are a gift.

Maybe this is the answer. We need to start preaching truth to ourselves. Earlier last week something happened to me that made me feel like a fail, like I had betrayed myself. I threw my heart out into a crowd and it was dropped and ignored. And I couldn’t tell anyone about it because I felt no one would understand. I spent the days feeling the opposite of all those things. And then I was among these women, and I was blessed and I realized, we are so much more, because we have so much more, because HE is so much more.

My sisters,

live loved - because you are

live strong - because you are

live victorious - because you are

live in his image - because you are

live in truth - because all this is true