in Hope

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned” Isa 9:2

Have they seen it? Have they really?

“The ox knows his master, the donkey, his owner’s manager, but Israel does not know, my people do not understand.”  Isa 1:3

Oh how empty, how sorrowful, how lost. How, hopeless.

The people of Israel had been walking in darkness for 400 years. 400 years not a word was spoken to them by God, no prophet, no Moses, no Elijah, not even a Joseph to save them form famine or a Noah to mock. Silence. Quiet. Darkness. The priests must have been beside themselves. For generations upon generations upon generations the Lord was silent. 

When you walk in the dark for so long you get used to it. You rely on other senses, you make your way, you manage in your life. You get proud. 

Darkness - the carrier of both evil and ignorance.

“Seek not in courts, nor palaces,

Nor royal curtains draw;

But search the stable, see your God,

Extended on the straw”

In the dark of a stable, the babe of light is born. And we are to hope!

We are to Hope? In a baby? A feeble human? 

But God…

Who wouldn’t let Moses see his face

Who came in fire - and smoke

And was silent.

How do we hope in a baby?

We have been getting along just fine without Hope.

“When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn” Isa 8:19-20

Or..

Our celebrities take all our attention, our “teachers” have better words for us than the Lord’s. We will let our knowledge from them. They tickle our ears. Our Hope is in them. They require nothing of us.

Of course we see no Hope in a baby. We are Lord of our lives. We seek no King to reign over our hearts. Over every part of our hearts. We are our own Herod.

“Oh yes, let me see this baby. Let me add my congratulations and watch as I do with everything else, until I get bored. Then I will destroy you with my pride.”

Yes, yes.. there is our Hope.

Yet,

“FOR TO US A CHILD IS BORN!”

How have we forgotten?!

Where is our minds’ heart?

“TO US A SON IS GIVEN”

Yes of course. A Son. The Son.

The Hope that brought Moses to the promised land, the Light that he was not permitted to bear witness to has been born into a child.

This is no fairy tale,

No “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..”. No, “Once upon a time..” 

This is the Light of the world, come to our lives. He is our Hope. 

“THE GOVERNMENT WILL BE ON HIS SHOULDERS”

Yes! Please God, take over the government!

“AND HE WILL BE CALLED WONDERFUL COUNSELLOR MIGHTY GOD EVERLASTING FATHER!”

Do you want to know why?

Because HE was there in the beginning. 

HE IS THE WORD MADE INTO FLESH

 and he came to live with us

IMMANUEL

IMMANUEL

IMMANUEL!!

HE is with us. 

Resides IN us,

Walks WITH us,

Suffered FOR us,

Intercedes on OUR behalf.

Because we can’t do it on our own. Nobody can truly see in the dark. The darkness deceives, the darkness leads us to doubt, to abandon all Hope.

Do you see it? Do you see the light? Does it make tears come out of your eyes? It will wipe those away. Does it cause you to fall to your knees? It will cup your face so you can look into it. The Light is no longer denied us. We can bear witness to it. Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice all you people. Our Hope is restored! The LIGHT has come! 

REJOICE!

beauty

I’m on the hunt for beauty. 

Have you come across any lately? Has your breath been stolen by real beauty these days? 

I’m not talking about fashion industry standards. 

I’m talking about real. Deep. Dirty. Beauty. 

Vernix stuck to a newborn beauty.

Beauty that makes your soul sing. Makes tears leak out of your eyes.

Beauty that inspires you in your race of life, helps you dig deep.

I have seen too much ugly these last few months. The words used on the internet lately are tearing me down. And none of it has even been directed at me. But our human condition is such that we default to words that destroy. I am constantly on our children about using words that build up. Encouraging words, loving words, words that help us win, that help us run the race.

Whenever they use tear down words we talk about how it made us feel. Not just to the receiver but to the giver of those words as well. 

The harsh reality we never consider is that the words we use to destroy someone else destroy us too.

Maybe this is why I have been mourning. I have been living in sorrow these last few weeks with no name for why. An intense conversation with a treasured friend produced no answers other than “I am not doing well and I don’t know why” 

I came home from my vacation to my hometown feeling restored. I had a deep peace that I was just swimming in. It was glorious. But within weeks it was gone. And I couldn’t place why.

So I have been on the search for answers. I have been imploring the Lord to help me find the truth behind the dark I have been living in. And instead of right out saying “the trouble is _____”  He has led me to beauty. 

It is why I dove head deep into baking this last week. I can control this. I have permission to create beauty with flour, sugar, butter, eggs and an oven. 

This is why I have been making love to my husband, looking for colour in the dreary rain, holding my children just a little longer. I am singing with more abandon, serving with more gratitude and praying with more urgency.

And what has the Lord said to me?

“you have come to me, and I have shown you the need for beauty - the need for me”

What had I been doing?

I was still coming to him, but I wasn’t searching him. I wasn’t living with urgency, as if my life depended on it. I was allowing distractions to keep my focus, instead of giving my focus to Jesus. 

I am looking for where grace is found. I believe this will be my life’s prayer from now on. Lord, show me where your grace is found. And I see it.

When my son spends the morning playing with trains in nothing but a pyjama shirt because he’s still learning the ropes of the toilet. 

When I’m grumbling about making supper again but turn to see my husband home early and reading to our boys.

When my family has health struggles and I am too far away to help, to be there for them, but then I remember HE is everywhere and they were His before they were mine. 

I look at Brad, and while we have had many challenges the last few years I am still so grateful that they were with him. That we have built a trust and while I still may fail him, he forgives and loves me again and again. There is grace in the challenges. There is forgiveness in failings. That is the beauty. We need to seek it out, with urgency. 

We cannot focus on the ugly, we have to hold the gates of our hearts closed to it entering and stealing our peace. When we witness the ugly coming near we need to speak truth and beauty against it.

I am seeking beauty. I am seeking Christ. My life depends on it. 

Psalm 150

only

This has been the one and only time I will do the write 31 days challenge. It was hard, it was frustrating, it was challenging and I was not able to keep up; as evidenced by the several times I did multiple postings in one day and even this post coming the day after the end, and I am scratching it together. 

We are in November! I can’t believe it and Christmas, of course, is right around the corner. 

Like - immediately.

I am already Christmas shopping as I do it all only online now and have to get packages here to put together into packages for elsewhere. I’m planning Christmas baking and today, I am going to watch a Christmas cartoon of some sort. Halloween is not my favourite and it was exhausting. The weather has taken a decided chill here as the nearby mountains are getting their early dustings of snow. We burned in our wood stove through the night for the first time last night this fall and I am settling into cozy-ness. Christmas only comes once a year and I want to make sure I get my fill of it. 

So now it is back to semi-regular postings. And by semi-regular, I mean, when I can get more than two minutes to myself with 3 kids climbing on me. 

Thank you for following along on this exercise/journey. Thank you for your thoughts.