slay the dragon

last week....

   I am breathing. For a moment. It was/has not been a good day and I lay the blame squarely on the shoulders of PMS. Not too long ago a report came out saying that pms was basically bupkiss. Not real. A falsehood. Made up. All in our pretty little heads. Well, I'd like to show the writer of that report that my pretty little head is incapable of coping with anything once a month.
   It all went downhill the moment I woke up (not very promising as days go) and picked up speed. By the time breakfast was over I was like a loaded down rig with no brakes going down a hill. I wasn't even looking for a brake run out like they have on highways.
   Losing my grip is not my favourite pastime. I mean, I live by my feelings (just ask the ol' man) but I'm mostly low key. Just, don't wake the dragon 'k?
Well, Brad woke the dragon. But, let's face it, if he hadn't then it would have been one of the other super heroes I live with. Hell, it could have even been the coffee machine. I was primed to blaze. So the day went on. Brad took Carlon to school which left me to breathe fire on Noah and Iain.
not so great.
we went to a park.
didn't go so well.
we came home and all had naps.
Fire diffused, and Brad wisely went with my suggestion to get myself a coffee, park at Carlon's school and work on this crazy blog while waiting for his day to end.
And so I breathe... and confess my failures as a mom to all of you. Bleah
Sadly, confessing this inadequacy doesn't improve my outlook on my situation. It just magnifies the stupidity in which I handled myself.
And again I breathe...
and get perspective, drink coffee, work out the details of the blog, try to forgive myself, love myself, or, just be ok with myself.
Now I'm thinking about Carlon, and what he will be facing this month. Leaving school, leaving the only home he remembers, leaving cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents, friends for a completely different turn on things and I want to bawl my eyes out. I lived in the same house my whole childhood. Birth to 27 *ahem...
My parents still live in that house. I have entered into a life where is is quite likely we will live in more than three houses by the time Iain is off to post secondary. I really try not to think about it because I can still barely wrap my brain around this upcoming move. So we will all be at a new address in less than 30 days from today! And I can't afford to let the dragon wake at all between now and ever again. Dragon needs to die for good.
Now all I can think about is Voyage of the Dawn Treader where Aslan scratches the sand to get Eustace back to himself.
But, it's more than that I think... isn't it?