little

I don’t know when it happened, but God has planted a seed in me. I can’t even tell you what kind of seed, but it’s there. It started quite little. So little in fact that I wasn’t even aware it was there until last week. It is amazing how he does these things. Some people might just consider it a coincidence. An, “isn’t it funny how that happened” kind of idea. I see it so differently, especially when you are actively seeking God’s presence in your life. 

Last week I came across a conference happening in the lower mainland and when I read about it, I started weeping. Actually, the weeping was caught up in my throat. Like, I couldn’t believe this was happening and I was trying to suppress it. Once my tears calmed, the rest of me got so excited. I asked God if this was for real. Where are these feelings coming from? Are they from you Lord? All of a sudden I am aware of this seed. And I want to help it grow but I don’t know how. You see, the conference - even though it is but for a weekend and is in the lower mainland, is surprisingly expensive. And when you add airfare and possible extra accommodation and a car rental, the whole event becomes prohibitive. And it quite possibly conflicts with a retreat Brad goes to every year. And now I am weeping for a totally different reason. Now, every time I see something come on my feed for the conference I tear up again because it is like my seed sees the sun but it is sitting in the shade. God awoke something in me and I am getting restless with the wondering what to do next. 

Have you ever experienced this? Have you ever been made aware of something with no outlet to plug into? What did you do? Looking back, how did God work in you through that time?