post-it

Do you know the hardest thing about writing? It isn’t the challenge of what to write about or when to write or even how I want to say it all (although, that can be pretty challenging) No. It is posting it. Putting it out there in the internet ether. Then asking you all to read it and care.

I maked this. Do you like it? Does it speak to you? Do you think it’s weird? Do you hate it? - please don’t tell me. Am I crazy for putting my thoughts and feelings out there? 

I have written millions of words and most of them stay locked away in my journal. Some I have laboured over for days and still they sit. Some I have sat and volcanoed out the words like the pressure was so bad I would explode were it not for the writing. But then comes the posting.

Posting it on the blog or on Facebook is most nerve wracking. This sort of thing is no big deal. This is a humours musing. But when I dig deep and click on that publish button, my heart skips a beat or ten. It is painful and releasing and glorious and heart wrenching all at the same time.   Partly because people I personally know read this. But also, because I am a private person - hello, irony - and so the idea of a complete stranger knowing my thoughts is, unsettling. But here I come still because I am compelled. I need to write, I need to say these things and ultimately it matters not if you read what I post. I just need to say it.